How to "Bond" with your Exchange Student

     Before our current exchange student, a 17 year old Chinese boy, arrived, I lectured my own children about their behavior. Specifically, their manners--or lack thereof! I was worried that my own children, a daughter, age 14 and a son, age 9, would immediately show their true colors and begin burping, passing gas (otherwise known as farting), and fighting between themselves. I wanted the boy to get to know us, see our home, ease into the cultural transition without having to witness this shocking behavior.

     As you can imagine, my kids were very polite. I was very proud of them...up until we reached the highway. They began arguing and bickering about something insignificant (I still can't remember what). My husband had to "put the hammer down," and we rode in an uncomfortable silence for about 15 minutes.

     I tried to fill the silence by asking questions. I asked about the flight, whether he was hungry, what he thought of the countryside. My children silently fumed in their seats, shooting each other angry looks. We bumped along for a little while like this until my husband asked, "Who wants to stop for a snack?" Nothing like food to put everyone in a better mood! (Nothing like food to get my fourth grader burping out loud.) My kids have this interesting game where one burps loudly and the others have to say the name of a color: red!, blue!, green!, etc. Whoever says the last color is the loser.  Inventive aren't they?   They systematically taught the new family member this game. Luckily, rather than being disgusted, he thought it was fun, and joined them.  I'm sure his parents will thank me.

     Well, now that we'd thoroughly broken the new student in, there was nothing left to do but start making memories!   In my opinion, shared memories--both good and not-so-good--are what bind us together as family.  Even the littlest things can make a memory that will be looked upon with humor later on.  Our exchange student from Hong Kong came back at Thanksgiving for a visit, and we had a great time laughing about times we had together as a family.  We laughed about my husband teaching her how to drive--about the time she hit a picnic table in the park with his Blazer, shouting "Look at me; I am driving!"  We laughed about the time we all went to Washington, D.C., with me driving, and got lost! 

     Some memories are not so good, but just as memorable.  For example, our current student went out walking at night in the dark.  He was strolling around the neighborhood in the dark, talking on his cell phone, when he stepped on a branch in the road.  It turned out to be a Copperhead.  It bit him in two places on his calf.  We rushed him to the emergency room where he lay for four hours.  Not such a great memory, but he lived to tell the tale, and has survived many jokes at his own expense since that time!

     You want your student to experience life in America, and you want them to feel like one of the family.  Take lots of pictures.  Make up little family jokes.  Make up silly songs.  These things identify you as family.  Kids are basically the same everywhere--they want to belong.  Belonging is a basic human need.  Making your student feel he/she is part of the family will make the year seem to fly.  Before you know it, your student will be graduating and flying back home.